TOUCH ONE LIFE DEEPLY-2

Getting back to the topic of persons with disability and an earlier post, TOUCH ONE LIFE DEEPLY, I want now to briefly mention a few concepts that are important to become aware of and more familiar with. The following is only an introduction. Much more information can be found by entering these keywords into Google and other search engines. If I can help in any way, please ask.

INCLUSION
I think the bottom line of inclusion is that everyone is a gift and has gifts to offer others; however, this can only be realized in full when people spend quality time together. This is not to say that we are only pure and beautiful gifts to each other and that there are no challenges involved in spending time with me -- or you -- or anyone else. Most of us are a bit of a mixed bag: very nice here; fairly nice there; something to be desired there.

Inclusion brings people together -- people with disability mixed right there in the midst of things with people without disability. But inclusion doesn't just THROW people together haphazardly, with no thought or planning or strategy or design to help ensure positive experiences for all people involved. Inclusion takes knowledge and time and planning and effort and dedication and practice and learning from mistakes and learning from others and .... Inclusion is (sometimes) very hard work. But the good often seems to well outweigh the bad.

INDIVIDUALIZED SERVICE PLAN
Emphasis on INDIVIDUALIZED! This concept is often concerned with the types of paid support and services a person with disability receives. These may be, for example, from a school setting (Individualized Education Plan (IEP)) or from professional service providers, often funded by Medicaid.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it may be easier to lump ideas and people and services together into 1 or 2 large bags, and to give everyone a bit of the same thing from that large and bland portion. But -- BUT! -- when you think about it -- I am not you; you are not me; and we are not him. Everyone is a ONE! A somebody! TO EACH HIS OWN! as they say.

Individualized Service Plan takes into account the real person before us: Who they are; their strengths; their weaknesses; their desires; their needs ... and it figures wise and creative and realistic ways to provide support and services to THAT person on THEIR terms for THEIR best interests. It puts the horse before the cart --  the support and services exist for the person in need; the person in need does not exist for the benefit and ease of the support and services. All in all, a much finer way to do business.

PERSONAL FUTURES PLAN
Similar to Individualized Service Plan, but more expansive -- covers more ground -- covers all of life. They say if you don't know where you're going you probably won't get there. Personal Futures Planning is an organized way to look at A Person and work together with him/her to figure out and to make happen those things that make for a nice life experience FOR THAT PERSON! It considers the whole spectrum -- no stone left unturned: Who am I? What are my likes? What are my dislikes? Where to live? Who to associate with? What to do? When? Where? Why? How?

Dream short term -- the immediate present. Today. Tomorrow. Dream long term -- next year. Five. Ten and more years from now. Personal Futures Planning puts all of this to paper and WORKS diligently to help make dreams become reality.

CIRCLE OF SUPPORT
Unfortunately, a lot of what has been mentioned above IS NOT EASY. Some of it is VERY DIFFICULT to accomplish in reality. If it was easy for a person with disability to have a relatively rich and full life experience, everyone would be immensely happy and fulfilled and I wouldn't be writing this post. But the sad truth is that life for many people with disability leaves A LOT to be desired -- and this IS NOT! inherent in the nature of the disability itself!!!

Sometimes a person with disability requires an array of support and services, and the quality of life experience is directly proportional to the QUALITY of those supports and services. Circle of Support is a personal commitment from a small group of family and friends to MEET TOGETHER ON A REGULAR BASIS with the person with disability, and to talk and figure out and plan how to best ensure that all of the pieces of the difficult puzzle are duly accounted for: "These are the issues of concern until our next meeting. I am responsible for this. I will call him tomorrow evening. You are responsible for that. You will take care of this Monday morning. You will do this by Thursday." 

Over time, with a small group of dedicated people working TOGETHER, each accountable to the other and each personally committed to the betterment of life for the person with disability, things will get accomplished and life experience can be improved. Again, there is no substitute for putting in the time, the sweat and the hard work, but there is a real and certain joy in the effort and outcomes shared TOGETHER -- some blazing accomplishments; sometimes frustration, disappointment and perhaps defeat; some still mountains to be climbed.

BRIDGE-BUILDING
Some people are born leaders. They are PEOPLE PEOPLE. They seem to get along with almost everyone and almost everyone gets along with them. People more or less melt in their presence. It's a very nice gift to have ... and it is very rare. But if you can find that person -- a genuine, for real, no holes-barred PEOPLE PERSON -- to become involved on behalf of a person with disability, they can be a key to unlock many doors in the surrounding community of people and activity.

This person can help build bridges, so to speak, for the person with disability into the rich, full life of the neighboring community: playground, scouts, music, gardening, animals, church, sports, work, politics, science, education, theatre, fishing, boating, travel and more .... Their task is to learn the interests of the person with disability and to approach on his/her behalf the people and places in the community that provide those interests. Again, sometimes strategic planning and coordination will be necessary to pull the feat off in as smooth a way as possible, but a foot in the door that is readily accepted and trusted goes a long way toward realization of the goal.

ADVOCACY
It takes a strong person to stand up to the powers that be. It is easy to feel intimidated, or overwhelmed, or out-powered, or out-maneuvered, or out-manned, or just beat down. It would be nice to think that everyone out there is doing what they are supposed to do, in the way they are supposed to do it. It would be nice to think that you just call in the needed supports and services, plan a little here, coordinate a little there, tweak a little here, and things will go smoothingly well on behalf of a person with disability. The sad truth is -- IT JUST DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!

We're dealing here with people. People with all sorts of ideas and concepts and beliefs and ways of being. People with their own issues and lives and families and interests. People oftentimes with full slates. People with a lot of interest, or some interest, or perhaps no interest at all in trying to get it right. We're dealing here with systems and bureaucracies and rules and regulations and funding streams and this-is-the-way-it's-always-been-so-we-can't-do-it-that-way syndrome.

An advocate is a bulldog. Sometimes a sweet and kind bulldog if that will get the job done; sometimes a ferocious bulldog if it seems that is the tack to take. An advocate has a rather clear notion of the person with disability, values him/her as a PERSON OF VALUE, and will go to bat on their behalf to help make happen what is supposed to happen. An advocate could be a parent, a family member, a friend or a neighbor. An advocate stands up and calls it like it is -- trying to get it right on behalf of the person in need of a strong and sometimes unrelenting voice.

Sincerely,
FJS

PRETTY HOUSE and PRETTY CAR


PRETTY HOUSE

A while back a friend asked me to help paint the outside of her home but she wasn't decided what color. She had a few ideas but wasn't locked into anything just yet. So ... I spent quite a bit of time riding through the city looking at homes for something that looked nice to copy.

Discovered that -- to my eye -- the VERY ATTRACTIVE home doesn't exist too often. Many homes look nice, but they just don't WOW! me. When I see wow I know it immediately. Turns out that a wow home is all the very same color -- NO TRIM AT ALL! Doesn't seem to matter much what the color is --  just so long as the house is the same throughout with no trim.

That look seems rich and beautiful to me. Majestic. Aristocratic. Fit for royalty. Simply outstanding. WOW!

I mentioned this opinion to one of my brothers who has studied and worked with house paints for many years. He immediately agreed that one solid color throughout gives a rich appearance. He added that a trim color on a house gives a nice look, but of an entirely different nature -- more country and folksy. Nice, but definitely different.

I certainly favor WOW NO TRIM! It's NOT EVEN CLOSE!

PRETTY CAR

I spend a lot of time on the road in my current job. Traveling about the city, down the highway, along country roads and bayous. Plenty of time to think and to observe. Began to wonder what color automobile is most attractive.

After days and weeks of observation it is clear to me the nicest automobile color is ... GREEN! Green just stands out in a very attractive and very pleasant way. It is Calm. Cool. Soothing. Comforting. It fits in beautifully with God's nature around it -- Green grass. Green trees. Green autos. Simply beautiful. WOW GREEN!

FJS

WHAT'S IN A TITLE?

The following is a list of titles I have thought of over the years. Some of these -- perhaps many -- will eventually become my future blog posts. If you have any favorites, just let me know and I'll likely develop those posts sooner rather than later. Until then, I invite you to imagine your own blog entries -- or better yet, actually write them.

FIRE AND BRIMSTONE
DAMNED IF YOU DO, DAMNED IF YOU DON'T
FALLEN ANGELS
I'VE NO ONE BUT ME TO BLAME
GOODBYE, AGAIN
GOOD DREAMS
MARKING TIME
JUST ONE STEP AHEAD (OF THE REST OF US)
CHILDLIKE AND LOVING IT
TIME TO BREATHE
DON'T PUT ME ON A PEDESTAL
MONEY BLUES
I'M NOT WHO I WAS/I'M NOT WHO I AM
FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE
FAR BETTER, FAR WORSE
TRYING TO FIND MYSELF SINCE I LOST YOU
PLEASE DON'T TAKE AWAY THE PAIN
ONE/OUR LAST EMBRACE
ONE LAST LOVE
A THOUSAND DEATHS
CAN'T STOP THE PAIN
LOSING YOU, LOSING ME
FINDING YOU, FINDING ME
WHEN BUTTERFLIES DIE
BREATHING, PULSE, BUT NOT ALIVE
DON'T COUNT THE COST
NEVER SAY NEVER
TOO FAR AFIELD
YOU WHO ARE LORD, REDEEM
LORD, I COMMEND
JUST PASSING THROUGH
TRAVESTY
TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT
DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL
BELIEVE ME
TRUST ME/TRUST IN ME
TRUSTING YOU
CAN'T GO ANY FURTHER
I'LL LOVE YOU (PERHAPS TOMORROW)
(I'LL LOVE YOU) PERHAPS TOMORROW
WITH YOU, WITHOUT YOU
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW
WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN (FOR A CHANGE)
GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS
IF ONLY WE COULD LAUGH AGAIN
CHILD'S PLAY
EVEN GROWNUPS SOMETIMES CRY
I CRY WHEN IT HURTS
IT ONLY HURTS WHEN I BREATHE
TOMORROW NEVER COMES
LONG, LONESOME ROAD
YESTERDAY WAS MY TOMORROW
IF ONLY YOU KNEW/IF YOU ONLY KNEW
SEND ROSES TO LAKEWOOD
MY/OUR LAST GOODBYE
NO ONE WINS WHEN YOU (WE) LOSE EVERYTHING
I'VE LET YOU DOWN
THE HURT KEEPS BLEEDING
NOBODY TELLS US/NOBODY TOLD ME
IF I (WE) COULD CHANGE THE PAST
THE DUST NEVER SETTLES
LIFE WITHOUT YOU
TRIBUTE
DON'T EVEN THINK TO ASK
BITTERSWEET
DON'T LET ME TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU
WASHED IN THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB
ALWAYS AND EVERYWHERE
UNSUNG HEROES
TAKE THIS RING
CASTAWAY (WEDDING RING)
NICE (GRADUATES WITH NICE...AND NICE...)
IF I COULD CHOOSE ONE PLACE TO BE

Sincerely,
FJS

GOOD PRIESTS

In an earlier post, WHAT IF A PRIEST?I came down pretty hard on a particular experience I had with a particular priest. I want now to set the record straight in regard to my thought about priests in general.

I was raised Roman Catholic and spent quite a bit of time involved in church activities. I attended graduate school of theology for 3 years. I spent several years working for various parishes and had a room to live in several rectories. I was a caretaker of a home for priests to visit on their days off of work. I came across a good number of priests over the years -- most were simply passing acquaintances; others I got to know fairly well.

I would say that 2 out of 10 priests I have met over the years are ABSOLUTELY OUTSTANDING! men of God. They are a strong witness to all that is good. They give themselves and their lives to serve God and others seemingly wholeheartedly. They are a joy to meet and an inspiration to me in my life.

I would say that 6 out of 10 priests are run of the mill AVERAGE GUYS. They mostly try to do what they are supposed to do, and they try to do it reasonably well. They hit and miss. Put in some effort; take some away. They rise to the occasion at times; they fall short at others. For the most part they put in a day's work for a day's pay. Nothing great; nothing outstanding; nothing truly inspiring. They mostly do what they are supposed to do in a rather typical, average way.

I would say that 2 out of 10 priests are a DISGRACE to themselves, to their profession and to God. They made a terrible mistake by becoming priests. The Church made a terrible mistake by ordaining them. They should get out of the priesthood or be thrown out and they should try to get their life in order someplace with less on the line in the way of influence in the lives of others. They need a lot of prayer, a lot of work and a lot of change -- on themselves.

All in all I think the 2-6-2 out of 10 ratio for priests -- 2 outstanding, 6 average, 2 miserable -- is about equivalent to the ratio I find in the general public. Every once in a while I come across extraordinary individuals -- beautiful people who seem to have it mostly all together -- doing beautiful things. Most people I find to be rather average -- take it or leave it -- just getting along -- hit and miss. A few people seem to be scum of the earth. They are a disgrace to themselves and a misery to others.

For my part I am a mixed bag. I have had moments of being extraordinary -- but only a few brief moments. That really doesn't count for much. I have unfortunately also had moments of seeming to be scum. I have hurt and disappointed others -- I think unintentionally, but hurt them nonetheless. Most of the time I seem to be just an average Joe: trying to get through life in a reasonably decent way; trying to get better at this -- one step forward, two steps backward, and one or two forward again. I do think I am making some small progress. Baby steps -- sad but true -- for a grown man.

Sincerely,
FJS

(ADDENDUM)

It's been 3 days since this post was published and it's just not sitting well with me. It cannot be that 2/10 priests and 2/10 people in the general public are MISERABLE FAILURES. I may be judgmental and cynical, but I am not THAT judgmental and cynical. 2/10 priests and 2/10 people miserable failures? It cannot be that many! Then what would be a more accurate ratio? 2/20? 2/40? 2/100?

Who knows? I am not God. It's not for me to decide. The point of the post is: There are some wonderful priests and we can learn well from them and their lead. Most are like the rest of us and they serve us reasonably well. Some leave a lot to be desired -- they seemingly do more harm than good.

Some good news in all of this is that the Church believes and teaches that the efficacy of the sacraments does NOT depend on the state of the minister. God's grace abounds and will benefit the recipient. This, indeed, is the REALLY GOOD NEWS!

FJS