I'm no expert when it comes to how to recognize inappropriate behavior and how to respond properly. I would like to say a few things in regard to WHAT IF A PRIEST? (previous post I recommend you read before this post).
1. Inappropriate behavior can come from anyone, at anytime, in anyplace. We must be on guard to recognize such behavior when it manifests itself and feel comfortable and strong to stand up against it and not participate in any way.
2. It is quite okay, in fact it is imperative, to say NO! to such behavior and to not participate even in the least. Otherwise, the perpetrator will take advantage of us and proceed with ill intent at every situation that presents itself. It is okay to say NO! It is okay to say NO! It is okay to say NO! Don't worry about offending the person! Say what you have to say and do what you have to do to get out of the uncomfortable and inappropriate situation, never to return.
3. Many times inappropriate behavior will not escalate on a scale of 1 to 10 quickly, all in the same visit. Sometimes it may escalate quickly, as in the case of rape by a stranger. Other times -- perhaps often -- the inappropriate behavior will escalate from a seemingly innocent tap on the thigh or "Take my hand and I will give you absolution" to full blown effect in a bear hug and kissing over a long period of time -- days, weeks, months or even years. Sometimes the perpetrator is quite calculating and methodical in his or her approach, moving slowly and with great caution like a cat -- until the success of the final pounce seems certain in hand. It is okay to say NO! to the first indication of inappropriate behavior -- "NO! I will not hold your hand during absolution." You do not have to wait until the behavior escalates to the extreme of a bear hug and kissing to say NO!
4. It is okay and even important to report such inappropriate behavior to someone in authority -- to your parents, or to your teacher, or to the school principal, or to your spouse or mate, or to the church pastor, or to the perpetrator's boss, or to the police. Do not keep the incident to yourself. Report it to someone who can investigate, file a report and hold the perpetrator responsible and in check. This, hopefully, will help prevent that person from attempting the same behavior with other innocent victims.
FJS
3. Many times inappropriate behavior will not escalate on a scale of 1 to 10 quickly, all in the same visit. Sometimes it may escalate quickly, as in the case of rape by a stranger. Other times -- perhaps often -- the inappropriate behavior will escalate from a seemingly innocent tap on the thigh or "Take my hand and I will give you absolution" to full blown effect in a bear hug and kissing over a long period of time -- days, weeks, months or even years. Sometimes the perpetrator is quite calculating and methodical in his or her approach, moving slowly and with great caution like a cat -- until the success of the final pounce seems certain in hand. It is okay to say NO! to the first indication of inappropriate behavior -- "NO! I will not hold your hand during absolution." You do not have to wait until the behavior escalates to the extreme of a bear hug and kissing to say NO!
4. It is okay and even important to report such inappropriate behavior to someone in authority -- to your parents, or to your teacher, or to the school principal, or to your spouse or mate, or to the church pastor, or to the perpetrator's boss, or to the police. Do not keep the incident to yourself. Report it to someone who can investigate, file a report and hold the perpetrator responsible and in check. This, hopefully, will help prevent that person from attempting the same behavior with other innocent victims.
FJS